kayyyfiiin

time

Tue, 06 May 2008 21:05:29 GMT

it's may already! i'm very excited. i love the last few weeks of school, they're always the best. this year has FLOWN by. so so fast. and i'm ganna go against what everyone ever thinks saying this, but i LOVE being a freshman. this year was just so fun and although i might have regret things i wouldn't have changed one bit of it. it was amazing. i mean there's still about a month left so who knows what else will happen, but overall this year has just been great. it's the happiest i've ever been. like this year, when i think things suck, i think back to a year or two ago and i think WOW my life is SO much better, i have nothing to complain about. i can't even imagine going back to the way things were. i love how i'm living now. i love the people i know and the friends i've made and the school i go to and the stories i have now and i wouldn't change anything. i want summer SO bad, but in a way i don't want freshman year to end because i feel like things will never be this good again. now that this year was so good i feel like nothing could really compare to it. oh well, who knows, i could be very wrong. sophomore year could be a blast too :]. atleast that's what i'm hoping for. but i'm literally praying and wishing on everything that summer's ganna be BOMBBBBBB :].

anyway, right now things are pretty good. the workload is getting tough again. i think teachers always do this once may comes because they don't want us to slack off even though everyone does anyways. they just make it harder for us to. things are pretty good. alright i mean but overall good. i don't have much to complain about.

our semi is coming up. i'm not sure if i'm going. probably, just depends on if my friends go and suchhh! i wanna go though :]. OH! me & leah might go on a cruise together next february vacation :]!!! her family wants to go on one and so does mine, so i told my mom and she said to talk to leah and her family because my mom can get a lot of deals on trips and stuff. i'm so excited!!! i really hope it works out. me and her are great again :]. i thought for a while that maybe she didn't care very much or something, but now we're good as we've ever been and i'm very glad!

the books i've been reading lately are good too! i'm literally reading five books at once right now hahaha. and i would write a paragraph on books in my livejournal... oh wellll, i'm lame i know it.

anyways, i have a lot of homework, and it's 5 and i haven't started it yet. i should probably go work on that. i'm trying hard as i can not to procrastinate :]

swinging

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 02:11:27 GMT

these past two weeks have been happy and sad and exciting and boring and confusing and clear. lately my moods have just been going crazy. i'll be so happy one second and depressed the next, but then i feel like i'm in the mood i'm in for a legit reason. i don't get it. but i don't like it. i've been worrying a lot too. and stressing over stupid things. and making really stupid mistakes and decisions. and i finally found out what my worst fear is. well one of them. and i think that it's happening right now, and i don't like it one bit. i have a feeling this vacation isn't going to be all that good. the weather is definitely bringing it down times a million. if it was sunny i'd definitely be having more fun i think. warm weather always just puts me in a good mood. but i'm trying to find myself. and it's a lot harder than i thought. i can't read my own thoughts or actions, and the stupid mistakes i've been making i KNOW are stupid. i just need to shape up and change myself for the better. but it's really difficult. physically and mentally. i guess i could say i'm going through a "hard time", but i don't even know if that's what it really is. things just haven't been at their best lately. hopefully they'll get better soon. i mean i feel like they will, it just also feels like this dilemma is going on forever. i don't know. whatever.

anyways, vacation started off nicelyyy. went to leasha's house so she could drive me to miss bolton's suprise dinner, which was very fun. she was so suprised and happy it was great. and i was really proud of the gift i made her :] hahah which was a ton of different cds that i made all with different mood themes. then i went to kelsey's for a bit with everybody which was mostly fun. after that my dad picked me up, then leah came over and we chatted for a little while then went to sleep because we were tired and had to wake up in the morning. in the morning, we got in the car to drive to kport :]. the drive was actually very very fun. i didn't have a seat to sit on because all of my dad's stupid documentary equipment was taking up all the room, but then i got a blanket and a pillow and made myself a little chair ontop of the stuff and it was really comfortable! so me and leah just listened to music and talked to the whole way up and it was really nice :]. once we got there, we went to the beach for a few hours. it wasn't warm up, so we just sat on the jetty and talked then walked the beach and went on the playground. i love kennebunk. there's no other place i can feel like none of my problems matter and the only important thing is to be happy. that really is my favorite place in the world i love it. anyway, then we got home, showered while the water was still hot, watched some antm, then went out to my fave restaurant ever, federal jacks :]. we ate there, then walked around the cute downtown place and obviously got candy at the candy store haha. then we went home and attempted to make a bubble bath but the water didn't stay hot enough for long enough so we were basically bathing in cold water. hahahahah then we tried to dye my hair lighter. that also didn't work. then we went to sleeep. the next day we came homee, leah got picked up, then i just chillledd for the day. at night i went to paige's with byoung camila and paige, it was prettyyy fun. then today i got home, caroline came over for a bit, then she left, i chilled, and went to the mall with my mom for some summer shopping. i got a lot of new stuff i'm pumped :] haha that's about it. now i'm not really sure what i'm ganna go do.

this post is way too long.

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 21:11:24 GMT

everyone hates being lost
mentally i mean.
well i guess people hate being physically lost too, but that's a bit off topic.
like i was saying, everyone hates being mentally lost.
it makes you feel out of control. like you can't figure out anything going on.
everyone likes to feel like they have a handle on things, because when you don't, that's usually when everything starts going wrong. that's the point when, later in life, you look back and go, WOW, that's when everything started getting fucked up. that's why people hate feeling lost. because it really messes everything up. once in a while, something good will come out of it because it's impulsive and not planned, but that doesn't mean we like the feeling of being lost. but then, i thought of something positive that could come out of being lost. like usual, i've been thinking randomly positive about things. it's good, but i'm not really sure why. and it doesn't really help anything, because i'm not really changing how i act, it's just making me feel better i guess. anyway, i figure, we all want to have someone who knows us and can save us and blahblahblah, but really, you can find that person until you're lost.

because, you need to be lost at some point to be found.

homee siiick

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 18:33:05 GMT

blahh home sick today.
only three more days till the weekend
then a week more until vacation
then a month and a half till SUMMERRR
hahah i just cant waiiit for any of thosee...

anyways, things have been good lately. fun fun weekend :]. i always feel like weekends are ganna suck then they turn out to be really good. friday nighttt i did nothing hahaha just went to evaline's with mary after school and stayed there for a bittt :]. that was fun! hahaha then i got homee and went to bed wicked early because i was randomly very tired. saturdayyy caroline came overr and we just decided to walk around. we walked to shelll and around the neighborhood. then we went to mary's for some cheeringupness hahaha. after that the three of us walked around and decided to go to bicentennial. we sat on the swings there for prob two hours or so, just talking. it was reallyyyy great. like probably one of the best talks i've had with people this whole year. it made me extreeemely happy haha. then caroline had to leave and her mom came and picked her up from bicent. me and mary decided to walk homee then, and we tried getting lost, but it didn't really work... hahaha anywayyy we talked a bunch on the way home too, i liked that. i love talking about things, especially with those two, because even though i have so much to say that can't be described in words, i feel like they understand it anyway :]. like those "happy feelings" we get. hahaha those can't be explained, but i love them. anyyyywayyys, then i came home and spent some time with my fam, cause my grandparents aunt uncle and cousin were all here. then i went to lyssiie's for the nigghtt and just had a fun time there :]. haha then sunday i went out to eat with my mom step dad and uncle, then baby sat until 6.

yesterday was school. it was boring. i feel like it's a LOT less stressful though, now that grades have closed. and i really like that. becauseee now that i'm all caught up with the work i just need to stay that way. and fourth quarter is always the best i think, even though everyone starts to slack offff hahaha. i can't let myself do that though! i don't want a repeat of what happened last quarter.

the weather's getting warm. i really like it :]. i like hanging out with friends every day, that's fun. oh yea. i quit gymnastics. well, atleast for now. until summer comes. then i'm deciding if i wanna quit for good. i have NO idea what i'm going to do. but if i do decide to quit, i'm DEFINITELY working there in the summer if i can.

another thing, i read the book the truth about forever. i alsooo LOVED it. i've been reading some great books lately :]. ahahah i love to read. i'm a loserr, i don't even care. books make me happy. so it's all good!

okay, enough post for nowww. i'm ganna go clean my room and watch one tree hill and do homework and sleep.

midnight writing.

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 04:13:11 GMT

why do i always get the urge to write in the middle of the night!?
ahh, anyways, here i go.

i always think about how i want to be someone's number one. i'm a very jealous person, i'm aware, i know it's my flaw, and i know i need to change it. whenever i think of one of my friends being best friends with another one of my friends, i get jealous because i want to be their number one instead. i get scared and i feel lonely because i don't think i'm anyone's number one. i don't even know who my number one is. i mean, i thought i did, but i think i might be wrong now. and anyone who i would put as my number one already has a number one. but then after reading tuesdays with morrie, something in my mind changed. so what, i don't have to be anyone's number one. if i'm making a difference in their life, then good for me. why does there have to be ranks anyways. as long as i'm a friend, everything is good. sure it's good to have a number one and you be their number one to KNOW that you're their number one, but just being SOMEONE is good. i'm still making a difference, i'm still a friend, i'm still affecting them, and they're still affecting me.

so i might not be anyone's number one, but i'm still someone's someone.

like morrie says, "what's wrong with being number two?"

happyy

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 01:21:45 GMT

yayy i've been happy latelyyy :]
i'm not in a very creative writingish mood, so this post is prob ganna suck, but it's all gooood.
anywaysss this week has been SOOO stressful with grades closing and all, but i think i've figured everything out now. this quarter, i'm REALLY going to try and stay on top of things because last quarter was just wayyyy too stressful. i need to stop procrastinating, i'm ganna try REALLY hard to not let that happen again.

anyways, friday was fun, just got home, then i went on a walk with embolt in the rain. hahahah whaaaaat a good time :]. thennn we just chilledd in her housee then switched a ton of clothes which made me VERY happy since i'm very very very sick of all mine, i don't even know why. then i just went home and watched some oc & grey's anatomy and went to sleep :]
pictures: i'll put em up sooon :]

saturday i woke up, just hung around, then went out to breakfast with bobby, ally, and my mom. it was nicee. then i went to my mom's house for the rest of the day. once i got to my mom's me and mc decided to go adventuring! hahahaha so we walked all around our neighborhood and found woods and explored a creek...? hahaha then we wanted to swing so we walked to bicentennial, then we didn't want to walk back so we just got picked up by her mom :]. then i got home and me and evaline and mary were supposed to hang out, but then evaline couldn't :[, but me and mary decided to go on a walk anyway. so we went and sat in sunset spot and talked for a bit, then we decided that we needed to put our little michelle plan into action... hahahah sooo me and mary planned to tell michelle i had a "suprise" to give her, then we'd capture her and take her into mary's backyard and maybe wheel her away in a trash can or something. so we went back to mary's house, mary dressed in ALL black, got sunglasses and put her hood on, she looked SO creepy at night i seriously could hardly see her next to me haha. so we grabbed a pillow case, told michelle to meet us, then mary hid in the bushes. michelle finally came out then we attempted to capture her, but she got out of the pillow case... hahaha but it was still fun to scare her :]. then me mary and michelle didn't know what to do, but i told my mom i was at mary's, and michelle and mary told their moms they were at my house, then we adventured some more. we heard some sort of tribal music coming from somewhere? so we decided to follow it and find out where it came from! hahahah so we were walking and it was just hilarious because mary looked SO creepy all dressed in black, and every time a car went be mary would just look like she was walking alone and she would run after the car, it was SO funny. so anyway, we followed the music only to find out it was coming from across the highway so we couldn't actually get to the source. it was kinda upsetting. then we went back to mary's dressed kinda goofy, and walked to shell station for snacks cause we were bored. hahaha then we just went back to my house and talked and went to sleep.
pictures: i'll put em up sooon :]

today was relaxing, i did sunday stuff. cleaned, watched the oc&grey's, went on the computer, and i read a ton of tuesdays with morrie. it's absolutely amazing and becoming one of my favorite books really really fast.

this entry was SO long. oh well. alriiight i'm ganna go listen to music and finish tuesdays with morrie :]. hopefully this coming week will be goooood! i have a feeling it will be for some reason :].

reading

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 20:28:15 GMT

i'm reading tuesdays with morrie
i'm amazed. i love it. it's changing me i think. in a good way.
i'll write about my week later.
i wanna keep reading.

it's just textbook stuff

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 19:17:40 GMT

bahh. stress isn't quite as bad as it has been. i talked to my teachers today about my grades and missing work and stuff and i know what's going on in every class so i feel a little better. now i just actually have to DO it. ick. i mean other things are still stressing me out and school isn't over yet so that stress won't end, but it's getting better, and that's all that i can ask for.

i'm really really looking forward to this weekend. who knowss whyy i just feel like it's ganna be good or eventful or something. i'm supposed to be having a sleepover with ev&embolt :]. i'm quite excited for that and our little sunrise adventure. hopefully it'll happeennn and be lotsa fun!

i've been listening to imogen heap and frou frou and matt nathanson lately. i really like the music they make :].

ah i have to go. gymnastics is soon and i don't have a lot of time to do homework& such. ugh gymnastics. i think i'm going to take a break from it or quit or something :/. idk i just don't enjoy it like i used to and i like dread practices. ugh, gatta goooo.

my life needs to get interesting.
and maybe a tad less busy.
or summer could just hurry up and come.
that would be good too.

loving lifeee

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 00:22:16 GMT

why do i get in such extreme moods?
i'm in the BEST mood right now. for god knows what reason.
but i love this feeling. music is making me happy, my new clothes are making me happy, the fact that school will either be cancelled or ruled by subs is making me happy, my friends are making me happy, i'm just so happy.

i've been praying more latelyyy. i like it. it makes me feel good! i feel like it should be summer. like i'm on vacation or something. but it's a good feeling. and i like the song breathe in by frou frou. i like it a lot. it's kinda carefree sounding. and i like hide and seek by imogen heap, even though i've known that song forever. and i like watching the oc, and sneak suprise attacks on mary bolton, and shopping with friends, and walking with michelle and taking pictures of sunsets and us spinning in the middle of the road, i like panera and barnes & noble, i like a lot of things. i like when i feel appreciative. i like when i ramble even though no one reads it except my person and maybe dan or whoever else is bored. i like writing. why am i writing all the things i like? i don't know

i like having deep conversations with people. i'm glad i met andrea, she's fun to talk to. same with mary. and a lot of other people. i don't even know what to write here today. this is probably the most pointless post ever, but i just wanted to say

i'm happy :].

wouldn't it be nice to never be alone in this wasted life?

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 19:17:55 GMT

mary bolton i know you hate the title of this post. sorry :].

anyways,

i have no idea what the hell i meant in my last post.
i don't understand how my mind works.
i think i need to ignore it sometimes.

but this weekend is good so far. i have to do one of those intense room cleaning soon, not very excited. i'm wondering if we'll have school monday. i hope so, but i also hope not. this whole teacher strike is just crazy. i don't really know what to think of it though.

i keep listening to the song wasted. it's very sad. i like it.

i like reading books and taking walks and life talks and baking and music and new friends and old friends and restaurants and running into people you know.

the simple things in life are what's keeping me going right now.

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 03:21:14 GMT

i need to sleep, but i have the overwhelming urge to write.
my mind is exploding, once again trying to think of everything at once.

i want to get to the inside of myself. i feel like the life everyone is living is superficial. i was reading about my dream and it said i might not be ready to confront my unconsious issues, and i thought, if i did, would i have a break down? and that made me think. i want to KNOW myself. i want to know every bit of me there is to know. i mean you might think, who knows me better than me? but i do not know who i am. i can't show you who i am because i have no idea who me myself is. i want to see the absolute purest me, the core of me, i don't even know what that means, but i want to know it. i feel like all the things we go through if we're having trouble, like therapy or talking, i feel like that's just sugar coating in this superficial life of ours. i want to have an epiphany of myself. i want to be opened up to who i am completely. i want all these layers around myself to be gone and to only see what's raw and left. what i'm thinking right now cannot be described in words at all, but i did my best. i know this won't make sense to anyone. i don't even know if it makes sense to me. but maybe someone will know what i'm saying. i don't know.

i want to know ME.

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 02:18:13 GMT

i'm not sure what to write today, but i feel like writing.
i'm still incredibly stressed, people are changing who they're getting close to and i'm really not sure if i like it or not. it's like i can't pick the people I want to be close to, but EVERYONE else just kinda knows. i don't really get it.

anyway, i've been kinda an emotional wreck in my head all week. i haven't really let it show through i hope, but my mind's been working overtime (even though it always is...). i just wish i could grab ahold of it and understand myself, but i honestly can't. i want to understand everything, but there's too much to think about. my mind tries to think of everything, but there's simply too much. i can't do it. i'm in the mood where i don't want school, i don't want to be very social, i just want to curl up by myself and read a book.

i'm very lame and i'm fully aware of it.

dreams&translations, night of march 21.

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 04:15:29 GMT

this post is HUGE. i don't expect anyone to read it (except maybe mary bolton...), it's mostly for my own benefit so i can read it later and be amazed at my dream hahaha.

DREAM:
i was on a beach, alone at first. the beach was very long and very scary. it was completely deserted, like someone hadn't been there for years, and it was so quiet. the ocean seemed to stretch out forever over the horizon, like there was just no world to see beyond it, only water. the water was really dark, like there was a lot of mystery having to do with it or something. the clouds were really dark, and there were a few birds flying high in the sky, to far to hear, but that was the only sign of moving life. it was summer, probably around dusk, but there was no pretty sunset to see. only dark clouds like it was about to storm. as i walked down the beach, i came to the end where there was a huge wall of very large rocks. i couldn't see what was over the top, so i climbed to the top of it. once i reached the top, i was shocked. there was a huge shipwreck next to an extremely dark murky pond. the shipwreck was all black. almost like it had been burned, and it looked REALLY old. there were pieces of it everywhere. the pond was gross looking and you couldn't see anything under the water since it was so mucky. then i remember leaving for the night. i don't know where i went, but i just remember coming back the next day with characters from the gauntlet and others that i knew. the people that i remember being there were evan, ct, big ez, my dad, one of my friends that was a girl but i don't remember who, and i think coral. i remember just being with my dad when i climbed the rock pile, and he kept telling me to be careful and not to slip. anyways, i was there with all of them and we were looking through the shipwreck and all it's pieces, trying to find something, but i have no idea what it was for. then we left and came back the next day. i remember that day was more fun and less gloomy. me and evan decided we wanted to walk on the water, because for some reason in my dream that was possible. so anyways he was just standing on the water, waiting for me. and i would step on the water but then fall through. but then i remember i stepped off the water, thought of that story of jesus where he walked on the water, took a deep breath, then i stepped and it was working. then me and evan crossed the pond walking on the water. then it was like the mucky pond was frozen over and everyone started walking on it. then big ez ran across it and did a flip at the end, and landed perfectly on a beam and we were all like WOAH that was so close! it's a good thing you landed like that or you could have hurt yourself really bad. and that was the end.

MY ANALYZATION:
no idea about the first half, no idea AT ALL. i just know that the scenery sort of reminded me of kingdom hearts after the island gets taken over. which is weird, because i haven't played kingdom hearts for probably two years, or though about it, so i have no idea how that would ahve played into my dream. anyways, i had just watched the gauntlet that day, so that's probably why it was in my dream. there's also a ship wrecked kind of thing in it, so maybe that's why. or atleast there was in one of the old gauntlets or something, i don't know. also, i told alyssa a story about jesus and his apostles, so i think that's where the walking on water part came from. and the part about walking on water and falling through when you don't believe, i'm almost POSITIVE that came from the movie what dreams may come, because in that the guy had died and was creating his own world, and he couldn't walk on the water unless he believed that he could, which was basically exactly what happened in my dream. then that's it.

DREAM DICTIONARY ANALYZATION:

beach--
To see the beach in your dream, symbolizes the meeting between your two states of mind. The sand is symbolic of the rational and mental processes while the water signifies the irrational, unsteady, and emotional aspects of yourself. It is a place of transition between the physical/material and the spiritual.
To dream that you are on the beach and looking out toward the ocean, indicates unknown and major changes that are occurring in your life. Consider the state of the ocean, whether it is calm, pleasant, forbidding, etc.
--the beach was dark, sort of calm, but also foreboding.

clouds--
To see gray and gloomy clouds in your dream, signify depression or anger. Your decisions may be clouded in some way.
To see menacing or stormy clouds in your dream, indicates an impending eruption of emotions. It also represents a lack of wisdom or confusion in some situation.
--both in my dream

rocks--
To dream that you are climbing a steep rock, signifies struggles, obstacles, and disappointments.
--i climbed rocks in my dream

being alone--
To dream that you are alone, indicates feelings of rejection. You may be feeling that no one understand you.
--i was alone in half my dream

celebrities--
To see a celebrity in your dream, represents your beliefs and understanding about him or her. Something in you waking life has triggered these similar beliefs and feelings. It is not uncommon that your obsession with a certain celebrity may carry over onto your dream world. Celebrities are often seen as heroes and all that is mighty. Also consider any puns within the name.
To dream that you are good friends with a celebrity, represents your idealized version of someone you know in your life. Perhaps you hope that a real-life friend can act more like a particular celebrity. Consider the qualities that you see in this celebrity and how you want your friends to have those qualities. See also Actor / Actress.
--i consider the gauntlet people celebrities...? hahah i didn't know what else to call them.

water--
To see water in your dream, symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment.
To see muddy or dirty water in your dream, indicates that you are wallowing in your negative emotions. You may need to devote some time to clarify your mind and find internal peace. Alternatively, it suggests that your thinking/judgment is unclear and clouded. If you are immersed in muddy water, then it indicates that you are in over your head in a situation and are overwhelmed by your emotions.
To dream that you are walking on water, suggests that you have supreme and ultimate control over your emotions. It may also suggest that you need to "stay on top" of your emotions and not let them explode out of hand. Alternatively, it is symbolic of faith in yourself.
--the water in my dream was very murky, but i do feel in control of my emotions usually.

ship--
To see a ship in your dream, denotes that you are exploring aspects of your emotions and unconscious mind. The state and condition of the ship is indicative of your emotional state.
To see or dream that you are shipwrecked, suggests that you are experiencing some emotional conflict or are having difficulties in expressing your feelings. Additionally, you may not be ready to confront issues in your unconscious.
--the ship was all broken down and black and messed up :/.

those seem so accurate.
my dream is basically telling me i'm VERY fucked up.

:/?

pressure.

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 03:07:28 GMT

i'm very stressed lately.
with a lot of things. friends, physical appearance, homework, family, my mind, basically every aspect of my life. i'm such a procrastinator. i NEED to stop it. it's putting basically the most stress on me. it's like 50% homework, 50% everything else. i keep telling myself OKAY THIS IS THE WEEKEND I'LL GET IT DONE, or THIS IS THE NIGHT I'LL DO ALL THAT WORK. but then i NEVER do it. but this weekend i'm going to KENNEBUNKPORT, THANK GOD. and sincee it'll just be my family and stuff and ugh my brother isn't even going :[ i'll bring my backpack and hopefully get all that work done!

today was sort of a serious day for me. i was just in a serious mood all day, constantly thinking deep. sometimes i don't like how my mind works. i feel like it's so complex that no one could get. and lately i've been making stupid decisions in my head that i KNOW or stupid but i chose to do them or try to do them anyways. i don't know, i need to reform myself i think. there's a lot of things i'd like to change, but it's so hard to do.

i don't know. i'm going to go to bed. i haven't done any homework. i hate myself. ugh.

just lifee yannoww

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 23:09:22 GMT

stiiilll haven't written in my other livejournal. i really should though cause i have soo much to write down and my mind is just full. but i'm wayy to lazy and wayy too much of a procrastinator. shit, that reminds me, i have to do my paper for world studies that was due a week ago... :/. oh well.

hmmmmm not much to write today. todayy was pretty fun i suppose. didn't do much but it's all goood! not bad for a monday. i was randomly very awake all day today. but now i'm incredibly tired. so i think i'm going to do homework and watch big brother and eat dinner then go to sleep :]

only after i check my horoscope-
Let other people get involved in power struggles today -- you have less stressful, more delightful things to deal with. Shift your focus away from business and work. It's time to have some fun. If you can't get away from work or school to kick your heels up, then at least make plans. When's the next time you can just let it all hang out? Parties don't just plan themselves, you know. You have some good ideas about what you and your buddies should get involved with next, so get going!

my horoscope is telling me to throw a party...

and i feel the need to post bits of today's conversations in this post just so i can go back and laugh at them :]

CAAROHHLINE: so my parents have these two people from germany staying with us until tomorrow morning
CAAROHHLINE: like a man and his wife
CAAROHHLINE: and the guy just knocked on the dorr
CAAROHHLINE: and goes
CAAROHHLINE: can you please remove your hair from your sink? ive had to clean it three times already
CAAROHHLINE: what the fuck
CAAROHHLINE: its my bathrrom
CAAROHHLINE: leave my house now

oOemlLOVES kate: how would you like it iff both of our names had jackson at the end

vintagee love xx: no idea mister hamson
haMmy1591: thats mr hamson to you
haMmy1591: bitchhh

CAAROHHLINE: heres my story of the day to you: its called if kaity were a small smiley who tried destructing the world alright so it all began on a sunny but chilly february night, when kaity who in this story will be known as KT was taking a peaceful relaxing walk along the ocean shore. As she was walking she stumbled across a dead jellyfish being eaten by a rapid seagull. Because KT isn't quite the sharpest tool in the fish tank, she decicded to pet the seagull. Obviously the seagull bit her little hand into two pieces and then ate the left ring finger. She started to shed tears of joy because she had always hated that left ring finger because it had a freckle that look like a calender. The seagull flew away and KT walked home. The End.

i hate allllll my friends :]

weekend!

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 18:45:53 GMT

i had the time of my life this weekend because i could finally go out.
i didn't even do anything that special, just the fact that i could go and hang out with friends made it completely amazing. but today is sunday. i hate sundays. i have so much work to do, but i told my mom i was done all of it... oh well. she's leaving soon so i'll just do it then.

so anyways, here was the weekends agenda:
FRIDAY-
+after school, walk to mcdonalds to meet rebb!
+chill with her, walk home, just hung out at her house
+steve hall picked us up, went to kristians with him michelle and leasha, a little crazyy time, but then we left before anything got too out of controll
+went back to rebb's and hung out for a while
+came home & watched a movie & slept
SATURDAY-
-did nothing, lazed around
+finally made plans at like 6 and went to michelle's house
+then leasha came and we all hung out
-i was taped up because the attacked me :[
+went downstairs and watched a movie with mike stevy bobby pat michelle and leasha
+came back to my house with michelle leasha and mary and had a funnn sleepover heree :]

and todayyy they just left, so nowww i gatta do usual sunday stuff. get everything clean, do homework, stupid things like that.

my life's boring. i want something exciting to happen. right now is the part of the life book that you skip over because there's absolutely nothing going on. well actually, there is stuff going on, i'm gaining/losing friends. well not even so much losing or gaining actually, just getting closer with certain people. but i kinda like it. that's about it. i need something else big soon. preferably something good. i feel like right now is like the eye of the storm maybe. like everything's calm just for a little bit but soon, something HUGE is going to happen, whether it's ganna be good or bad i have NO idea. hoping for the best though.

that's about it for now i think. randomly long post. i'm ganna go write in my other livejournal that no one can see. hahahaha alriiight, i'll update once life get's exciting. peaceee.

cheered up

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 00:31:29 GMT

i think i'm just happy with my good life :]
and i should be.
that's it.

remind yourself

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 23:51:26 GMT

be independent. be original. work hard. respect yourself. have no regrets. dream. set goals. be open to meeting new people. laugh. travel. be optimistic. don't settle for less than you deserve. smile. be honest. speak up. love with your heart .do what you want. be irreplacable. be confident. be yourself.

i really like this quote. as corny as it is i think it's something that i need to be reminded of all the time. just simple things that i think people should hear more than they do. maybe if we did things wouldn't be so complicated or mean. i don't really know what to write here todayyy. lala not a bad day i suppose. i was really sad at the beginning but i've turned out to be in a really good mood as the day went on. who knows whyyy but i'm glad! i feel like things on the surface might be getting better, but everything underneath might just boil over soon. that sounded retarded, but i know what i mean.

oh and i've been meaning to write that i don't hate this semester anymore at all. i kinda sorta like it. first block is icky cause i hate math class and it's so much work but there's a lot of good people in it. second and third i really like, and fourth is alright now that the student teacher is gone hahaha. it's way more fun. lunch is ehhh but hey it's all good :].

AND I'M MONO FREEEE<3333!

bottom of the wheel

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 23:52:13 GMT

things haven't been quite as great lately. and today was the worst day in a long time. i'm just so stressed with everything and i kinda don't feel like i have a home or that i have someone i can go to whenever i need to. i don't like it.

i just feel lost.

just give me summer.

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 19:55:26 GMT

nananaa life's good. as usual.
except i hate my classes this semester. did i already say that in the last post? i dunnoo, but i do! hahhah
i miss summer more than anything in the world. i KNOW i said that in the last post, because i say it all the time. i don't even care. if i could have anything in the world it would be summer. i want it so badddd.

idkkk, i have a new livejournal now thats like private and only i'll see so idk how much i'll be writing in this one anymore, but i'll try still =]. hahahah MUSIC IS MY LIFE.

lately i've just been jammin to it whenever and i get in these certain moods. and i love it.

that's it.

read the perks of being a wallflower, it's amazing.

hmmm

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 20:44:15 GMT

well, i suck at keeping up at these things.
hahahah but life's good, i'm a happyyy girl.
i love music, i love my friends, my birthday's in 7 days, im pumpedpumpedpumped.
i love doing new thing.
i can't wait till summer
at all.
that's all i wannnntt is freakiiin summmer.

so the semester ended yesterday
and we had finals today
and tomorrow
i'm actually really sad
i loved all my classes [minus gym] and the people in themm
hoping that the next semester will be just as good, but ehhh idk.
fourth lunch sucks in my opinion, and thaaats what i have. hahahaha

ahhh gatta go to cheerleading.. bye!

of course

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 01:46:22 GMT

i would forget about my live journal like a week into it.
butttttt i'm back again. life's going really really good right now. i'm extremely happy.
there's nothing for me to be sad about right now except little things, but those don't matter.
vacation was great. SO much fun. tons of firsts for me there hahahhaha.
one including me&caroline&the streets of nashua from 12-5 AM =]. that was terrific.
hahahhahahah not much to say, i'm really content with life, hopefully 2008 will be just as good at 2007.
because, by far, 2007 was the best year of my life.

SO FUN.

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 00:34:40 GMT

so todayyyy was probably the funnest day. ever.
mwahahhahaha
snow day.
went to evaline's.
enoughhhh saiiiid =].

?!

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 05:38:41 GMT

ohhhhh godddd.
what i just did is either ganna make things better or ruin everything.
i'm not sure yet.
but i'm scared.

and.

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 02:15:51 GMT

confusing day number two!